Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
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