i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
