I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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