I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
