she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
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Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
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I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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