Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
