his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Come share oat with me in your robe
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
