we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
