nut hugger
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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