Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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