If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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