I CAN MOONWALK!
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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