I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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