Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
