I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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