I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
