question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
