just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
i out mim tonsoeep
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