She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
