she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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