we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
