can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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