i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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