tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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