Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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