My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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