He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
