I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
