so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
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He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
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we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I need to calm my uterus...
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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