it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
