I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
