I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
