apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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