I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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