lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
