Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
