He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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