she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
