Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
and she was petting her beer can
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
