apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
