im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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