I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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