if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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