I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
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They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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