Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
