home. puking in laundry basket.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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