It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize