i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
