if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Can vaginas get frostbite?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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