I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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