Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
