She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
