physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
