Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
