mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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