Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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