I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Randomize
