i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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