don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
