I wish I could punch you in the face.
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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