There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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