I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
