I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
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as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
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in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.