i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
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The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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