You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
