There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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