so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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