I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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